>cat wuz h-AAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Hillelblog

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This is a clock I made recently, it was very expensive to make and I want for people to see it so I don't regret making it or something yeah
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射命丸文 said:
I'm a terrible human being, I very often do terrible things just for my pleasure. I am extremely controlling, I take sick satisfaction from deciding the actions/fate of others. I always want to be the leader of group projects, I always want to have the final word, I manipulate people emotionally, I suppress my own feelings if it means I can get more personal drama out of the people I love. I love myself the most and I have never though that I don't deserve anyone. I do. And they deserve me, however cruel that sounds.

I treat internet strangers like disposable toys, but I can never play with them for too long or I get all empathetic and I start feeling bad.

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Rope, polack.
 
射命丸文 said:
I'm a terrible human being, I very often do terrible things just for my pleasure. I am extremely controlling, I take sick satisfaction from deciding the actions/fate of others. I always want to be the leader of group projects, I always want to have the final word, I manipulate people emotionally, I suppress my own feelings if it means I can get more personal drama out of the people I love. I love myself the most and I have never though that I don't deserve anyone. I do. And they deserve me, however cruel that sounds.

I treat internet strangers like disposable toys, but I can never play with them for too long or I get all empathetic and I start feeling bad.

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Yesterday some Brazilian girl kept following me and helping me in this multiplayer game I play and she sent me a friend request and I accepted and we kind of just play random free to play shit now since she’s poor

She barely understands English and I barely understand Portuguese but I have no idea what to do when she speaks on the mic because she’s heard my voice. I can’t just unfriend her!
 
Alien Ambassador said:
Yesterday some Brazilian girl kept following me and helping me in this multiplayer game I play and she sent me a friend request and I accepted and we kind of just play random free to play shit now since she’s poor

She barely understands English and I barely understand Portuguese but I have no idea what to do when she speaks on the mic because she’s heard my voice. I can’t just unfriend her!
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Honesty minimizes damage
 
Alien Ambassador said:
You’re saying I should tell some ESL woman that when I asked where she’s from she said “I believe it’s 10 o’clock” that I’m going to unfriend her because of a language barrier? That’s rude.
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Tell her that and don't do anything because she won't understand you either way kek
 
Do words matter or do they not? It depends on the person. I know many people that get influenced just by me telling them nice things, but for me only actions matter. Well, some statements can be made but they have to be backed up by actions. Stupid as it sounds, I still can believe words alone if the person has a history of being trustworthy. But some are not trustworthy.

I am forgiving. I forgive too much. I learn nothing and it makes others face no consequences. "He'll just forget", "He'll just forgive".
"If I keep repeating 'I am sorry' it will all be fine"
"I will change"
"i'm sorry"

I'm a walking contradiction, I am weak. Damn our God for giving me such an emotional personality.

How many times can I forgive? How many times do I need to hear the same "I am sorry"? How many more times do I have to forgive until I forgive myself and let it go?
Relationships are so complicated. I think simple ones are meaningless.

I don't want to change, I want for others to change. But I also hate relying on others, so what am I even expecting?
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blackops2 said:
??????????
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As if I know.
 
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I keep running around not knowing what to do. I have nowhere to stay, no place to anchor myself permanently. I am simply lost. Is it me and my erratic behavior? Probably. I am not the one to judge and I'm not going to see a fucking therapist so he can tell me that yes, in fact, there is something wrong with me. I wouldn't call it a mental illness, it's more of a neurodiversity thing. Not autism, I'm just different. I operate differently, I think differently. I don't really like that though, it's problematic. I'm yet to meet someone who thinks the way I do, it'd be interesting to see how dealing with someone like me feels like. I am sure that a world full of Hillels would collapse in a few hours.

I'm simply high maintenance. Many people love me dearly and I'm in awe how they are willing to put up with my shit. I offer nothing in return, after all.
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ecstasy said:
go all out and smoke a cigar instead
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Genuinely good advice if you really only want to smoke once a month
nicebunnyowo said:
ok but when people get addicted it's because they start off by smoking like at least daily but if I never do that I should be fine????????
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The trick is to never do that, I guess. It's way too easy to say "well, I'll just smoke another today and then wait a month" once you find out you enjoy it.
I also just don't see a point in smoking once a month, so it's a lose lose
 
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